In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
