We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
