GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
