It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
