I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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