I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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