You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
