When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
