i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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