I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
