Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
do nipples grow back?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
