If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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