Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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