Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
