My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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