so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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