it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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