great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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