I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dick very happy bro
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
