Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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