in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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