Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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