Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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