Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
