I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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