Quick, to the slutcave!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
