Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
