this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
