The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
worst night to have a conscience
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
