i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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