i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
