so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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