if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
