Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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