I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
