Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
