so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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