I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
