Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
