Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
