When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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