i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
