Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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