my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize