between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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