My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You were trust falling into bushes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
