by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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