your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
