I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
