i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
