Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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