remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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