I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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