quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
