We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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