You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She is in my trunk
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
