Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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