Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize