Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
